Saving the world from Atrocious Fashion, One Celebrity at a Time

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Red Alert

Posted by Mean Critic
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Chopard Happy Monkey 

Dark red dial with with three floating diamonds and floating monkey with diamonds

Dark red alligator strap with Stainless Steel

Rating: 5

Wearing a great watch is also a sign of good taste. And what could be cuter than having a watch with a monkey and loose diamonds with it? Heck, you could be wearing a plain tee with jeans and flats but a watch says a lot about one person.

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Knock Yourselves Out

Posted by Mean Critic
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This Chopard watch features three heart-shaped diamonds, the pink weighs 15 carats, the blue weighs 12 carats and the white weighs 11 carats. They are set in a bracelet encrusted with clusters of white pear-shaped diamonds arrange in flower motifs, with a yellow diamond standing up from the center of each. Total carat weight of the white and yellow diamonds is 163 carats, while the total carat weight of the watch is 201 carats. The watch has a spring-loaded mechanism which, when pressed, allows the three heart shapes to mechanically open up, much the way the petals of a flower will in the sunshine. The watch face, pavé-set with small round yellow diamonds, is exposed from underneath the heart-shaped diamonds. Price tag: $25 million.

The specifications for a number of the diamonds are as follows:
- 1 heart-shaped diamond, natural Fancy Pink, Internally Flawess, 15.37 carats.
- 1 heart-shaped diamond, natural Fancy Blue, VS2, 12.79 carats.
- 1 heart-shaped diamond, D color, Flawless, 11.36 carats.
- 3 pear-shaped diamonds, natural Fancy Intense Yellow, 8.45 carats total.
- 26 pear-shaped diamonds, natural Fancy Intense Yellow, 17.07 carats total.
- 48 round diamonds, natural Fancy Yellow, 8.81 carats total.
- 260 pear-shaped diamonds, all D color, Flawless, 60.94 carats total.
- 91 round diamonds, D color, Flawless, 10.29 carats total.
- 443 FC diamonds, natural Fancy Intense Yellow, 4.95 carats total.

Rating: 5

This is how I see it, this is not a watch. This is a heavily studded diamond bracelet that came with a watch. A watch worth in millions should come with some of the greatest complications. I know this is totally insane but I am sure you wouldn't mind if you got one for Christmas.

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To Complete Your Ensemble

Posted by Mean Critic
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Windrider Chrono Cockpit

Caliber:                Breitling 13

Movement:           Selfwinding mechanical

Jewel:                 25 Jewels

Calendar:             Dial aperture

Case:                  Steel, two-tone, 18 K yellow

Water resistance:  100 m (330 ft)

Crystal:               Cambered Sapphire, glareproofed both sides 

Rating: 5

This classy watch deserves a red carpet, even Jack Bauer's President Wayne Palmer wears a variation of it.

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Happy Wrist

Posted by Mean Critic
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The Ladies Happy Sport Beach has a quartz movement. It has an 18kt yellow gold case, rubber strap and black dial. The watch is water-resistant to 30 meters.

Rating: 5

Be in your winning form sporting the Happy Sport Beach. Also great for dress occassions.

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