Saving the world from Atrocious Fashion, One Celebrity at a Time

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If I Were to Dress Up Angelina Jolie

Posted by Mean Critic
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Black sash dress.

• Ruffled trim on plunging V neckline, short sleeves, and down back

• Tie waist; belt loops

• Straight skirt.

Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie has been voted Hollywood's ''yummiest mommy.''

The actress topped a poll of over 3,000 film fans, conducted by movie website www.pearlanddean.com, to the sexy accolade.

Angelina - who has four children, Maddox, five, Zahara, two, 10-month-old Shiloh and newly adopted Vietnamese boy Pax Thien - beat a host of other stunning Hollywood mothers to the title with around a quarter of the total vote.

Kate Winslet came second with 18 per cent of the votes, while Reese Witherspoon - who has two children, daughter Ava and son Deacon - and Cate Blanchett came third and fourth respectively. Pearl and Dean spokesperson Kathryn Jacob wasn't surprised sultry Angelina - whose long-term partner is Brad Pitt - topped the poll.

Jacob said: "There are some beautiful Hollywood moms in this list but Angelina Jolie's combination of stunning looks and column inches have earned her an army of film fans."

Other sexy star mothers who made the top ten included Katie Holmes, who has a daughter Suri with husband Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, who is currently pregnant with her third child, and Gwyneth Paltrow who has two children, daughter Apple and son Moses, with her Coldplay star husband Chris Martin. Hollywood's "yummiest mommy" poll top ten: 1. Angelina Jolie 26% 2. Kate Winslet 18% 3. Reese Witherspoon 13% 4. Cate Blanchett 10% 4. Catherine Zeta-Jones 10% 6. Katie Holmes 7% 7. Demi Moore 6% 8. Julia Roberts 4%
8. Nicole Kidman 4% 10. Gwyneth Paltrow 2%

It's no wonder why Angelina is in Playboy's Sexiest Celebrities. 

Rating: 5

If I were to dress up Angelina Jolie, I would choose black. She doesn't need to expose cleavage for people to find her sexy. Her personality fits the style and color which complements her charm and great sex appeal. Perfect for her art gallery shows or special dinners.

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Wonder Mama

Posted by Mean Critic
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Playboy's Sexiest Celebrities

Denise Richards 

"I found out early I could make more money modeling than I could waitressing and scooping Haagen-Dazs. But I always wanted to be an actress." Denise Richards

Rating: 5

Anyone who can look that sexy after giving birth is okay in my book!

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Butt Out

Posted by Mean Critic
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Playboy's Sexiest Celebrities 

Jessica Alba 

Jessica's image was used in the Need for Speed: Most Wanted computer and video game. 

Rating: 5

She has got the cutest tightest little butt! Agree? 

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Anna Nicole Wanted To Be Marilyn

Posted by Mean Critic
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Playboy's Sexiest Celebrities

Paris Hilton 

"There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde, including Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana, and right now, I'm that icon." - Paris Hilton 

The world is full of bleached blondes, so Paris take a number. A lot are gunning for that title including the late Anna Nicole Stern. (May her soul rest in peace.) 

Rating: 2

I don't think she is sexy, men just want to bang her after seeing her infamous video and after knowing that she can give the hottest blow job in the f@#ing planet! Well, that is, if you think Joe Francis is credible enough. Isn't she also a good friend of Hugh? Tsk tsk…

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Unfair Practice

Posted by Mean Critic
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Playboy's Sexiest Celebrities 

Holly Madison, Kendra Wilson and Bridget Marquardt

Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt are Hugh Hefner's current girlfriends, well-known for appearing on the E! reality television 2005 program entitled The Girls Next Door, which is the #1-rated program on the E! network.

Rating: 2

I guess everybody is with me when I say that the only reason they are on the list is that they are Hugh's current play girls. That's all there is to it. 

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Enough Already!

Posted by Mean Critic
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Playboy Sexiest Celebrities 

Scarlett Johannson has been named Playboy's Sexiest Celebrity beating 24 others which included Angelina Jolie and Jessica Alba. I will only feature 12 out of 25 as the others just seem unworthy for my taste.

 "I definitely believe in plastic surgery. I don't want to be an old hag. There's no fun in that." - Scarlett Johansson

Rating: 1

Before the make over, this is Scarlett Johannsson. No style, no charisma- nothing. The only great thing about her is that- she has real boobs and maybe that's all she needed to win Playboy's sexiest celebrity. 

Her dress could pass for a duvet, a cover slip, throw, bed sheet… 

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