Saving the world from Atrocious Fashion, One Celebrity at a Time

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Eva’s Guts By Guest Critic Gaye Critic

Posted by Gaye Critic
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Actress Eva Longoria will return to Los Angeles the day after marrying basketball star TONY PARKER - so she can start filming the next season of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES.

The couple will wed in Paris, France on 7 July (07), but their honeymoon has to wait until after Longoria has honoured her TV commitments.

She says, "I'm heading home right after the wedding. We start shooting on 9 July."

 

Rating: 2

She has got the most irritating laugh I have ever heard. Is she trying to be Julia Roberts? Julia was a natural, everything this woman does is associated with hypocrisy. Eva likes you to think she is beautiful but hell, the media can paint whatever they want about this woman, there is nothing beautiful about her- much less posing like a duck in this picture. Quack! quack. I can stand the chicken legs either. Not, not sexy. Ever.

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So You Think You’re Cute? By Guest Critic Mira

Posted by msanggre
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Actress/singer Shar Jackson was forced to give one of her beloved dogs away - after naming it Britney. Jackson had no idea she'd become Britney Spears' love-rival when she named the pooch after one of her favorite singers.

She tells newspaper USA Today, "I had a bunch of dogs named after pop stars but I didn't want to be calling that name anymore." Jackson admits she gave to dog to her godmother.

Rating: 1

Britney thinks she's cute….
She even wanna bought the whole sailor suit
But she only got a hat,
cause everybody knows we have had enough of that.... 

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Skankiwood By Guest Critic Gaye Critic

Posted by Gaye Critic
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"L.A. girls are really going to love (husband) David (Beckham)," so she better watch out! - Kim Kardashian offers Posh Hollywood advice

Men have a huge man crush on David too Kim! 

Rating: 2

Ew and double ew. WTF is that? Did she go through Tori Spelling's yard sale? Hollywood is damn crazy. Why do they build up people like her only to somehow replace Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, gee, um, no thanks! Kim's "long list of credentials" include a leaked sex taped and a long time Paris Hilton sidekick, WTF! Hollywood used to be glamourous, now it's just plain skankiness. I think it's time to pack my bags and head for the hills. Oh, Lord.

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Mandy Is No Longer Cute By Guest Critic Gaye Critic

Posted by Gaye Critic
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"The house was built in the twenties and it was completely haunted… Everytime I took out my clothes to air dry they somehow ended up on the floor - and I did not do it." Mandy Moore on recording her new album, Wild Hope, in a haunted house in Woodstock, New York.

Rating: 1

Mandy Moore must really think she's cute. Totally so not. She's somehow still stuck in the Debbie Gibson stage. Debbie called and she wants her look back!

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Much Better By Guest Critic Mira

Posted by msanggre
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‘You have to charge of charge of your own life. You can’t sit and wait for a knight in shining armour to ride and take care of you. You have to create your own future and be proactive. I’ve been out in the world on my own for a long time as a working woman, and it’s something I feel strongly about. You can’t just let things happen to you - you’ve got to go out there and find your own experiences and I like that girls these days are feeling more empowered. ‘I’m not saying that there’s not a difference between men and women, because there absolutely is - thank God! But I am saying that we are all capable of doing what we believe we’re capable of - and don’t need a man in your life to tell you that.’- Cameron Diaz

Rating: 3

I hate seeing celebrities who go to supermarkets and put on truck loads of make up and  costumes that looks like it has been brought from the eight dimension through e-bay but Cameron Diaz changed my perception so I'll give tip my hat off to her.

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Johnny’s Too Cool for School By Guest Critic Gaye Critic

Posted by Gaye Critic
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Legendary rocker Chuck Berry once mistook his opening group, which featured a young Johnny Depp, for his backing band - and asked the actor to tune his guitar for him. Depp was just 17 when his band The Kids supported Berry at a concert in Atlanta, Georgia.

The 43-year-old tells Rolling Stone magazine, "I was in this band, The Kids. And we opened up for Chuck Berry in Atlanta. I was 17. He arrives. He comes into our dressing room. He thinks we're his band. So I was, like, stupefied."

"And he handed me his guitar and said, 'Tune it up.' So I plugged it and used the strobe tuner. He was like, 'What the f**k is that?' 'A strobe tuner, man.' He was mesmerized."

Rating: 2

Dear Johnny, this is the Pirates of the Carribean premiere, not Officer Tom Hanson of 21 Jump Street! Actually, it doesn't matter what he is or isn't wearing, he is the Johnny Depp and he is our pretty boy forever! Gorgeous! Meow!

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Rehab by Guest Critic Mira

Posted by msanggre
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Socialite Nicole Richie has hit out at claims she is in rehab fighting anorexia and a lethal addiction to painkillers, insisting she is enjoying life at home. Speculation that Richie - the adopted daughter of singing legend Lionel - had entered the Beau Monde facility in Laguna Beach seeking treatment for an eating disorder and substance abuse surfaced last week.

But a spokesman for The Simple Life star denies the claims, saying she is in fact at her home in Glendale, California.

The representative tells TMZ.com Richie recently visited her therapist, but her recovery is "an ongoing process" and she is "completely sober".

Rating: 1

Oh come on Nicole, this dress kill your boobs. Your shoes looks like it you got it for free from the nothing shoe department and your bag looks like it was brought here because even hell can't accept it. I know you can do a lot better!!! Don't lose it girl!

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Under Rihanna’s Umbrella by Guest Critic Mira

Posted by msanggre
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Just in time for summer, Star magazine reveals which celebs are beach-bod ready, and those who should opt to stay in winter hibernation mode. Best Beach Bods 2007 … And the Best Women Bods Go to …   

Best Tattooed: Pink

Dainty bows tattooed under each butt cheek? Why not! When you look this good in a bikini from behind it’s a gift! Hard-bodied Pink shows off her super-toned physique on a beach outside Sydney

Best Booty-Shakin: Rihanna

This Barbados-born hip-hop princess grew up frolicking on the beach – and she still rules the sands! Rihanna, 19, is hot in a bedazzled black bikini- and even pulls off that dowdy cap! – while hanging in her native island country

Best Oscar: Charlize theron

No fair! Charlize, 31, is blessed with killer beauty and great gams – and he has an Oscar at home (for 2003’s Monster) to boot! The statuesque former model lights up the beach in Malibu while sporting a teeny-weeny print bikini.

Best Bikini: Cameron Diaz

Wow, that’s one lucky ogre! The star of the new hit film Shrek the Third hits the beach and shows off her supremely toned and ultra leggy 34-year-old bod in an adorable sherbet-striped bikini.

Best Better-Half: Kelly Preston

Her tubby hubby, John Travolta, ranks among the worst bods, but Kelly proves that opposites attract during a Hawaiian getaway. John’s a lucky, lucky guy!

Best All Around: Jessica Biel

It’s easy to see what attracted Justin Timberlake to his new love! The bootylicious ex-7th Heaven star, 23 – who was recently spotted visiting her new sweetie in London, where he’s launching his world tour – Is a vision in white while romping ton the beach in Hawaii!

Best Plus-Size: Queen Latifah

All hat the Queen! Her best accessory? Confidence! In a flattering black one piece, Latifah, 37, proves that (a bit) bigger can be a whole lot better while vacationing in Hawaii.

Best Curvy: Penelope Cruz

How do you say hubba-hubba-haubba in Spanish? The Madrid-born stunner, 33, is muy caliente in a dark one-piece suit while frolicking in the surf on the celeb-fave Caribbean isle of St. Bart’s.

Best Back from Bony: Kate Bosworth

Now that’s much better, Kate! After shocking fans with her skeletal fram last fall, the Superman Returns star, 24, is positively pinupworthy – and absolutely gorgeous! – in a flower-print bikini and trendy white shades while in Maui.

Best Hot House-Wife: Nicollette Sheridan

You think she’s desperate? Fat chance! Nicollette is the TV housewife with the ridiculously hot figure! The 43-year-old (that’s not a typo!) rocks a colorful striped bikini while strolling in Malibu.

Now for the Hunky Hollywood Men – The Best Bods Go to …

Best Action Hero: Hugh Jackman

Wolverine is looking kinda fierce! The X-Men star, 38, flaunts major muscles along with his swoon-inducing, screen-idol good looks on the beach in his native Australia.

Best Hidden: Jude Law

Hey, Jude! We thought you were scrawny! Who knew that the dreamy and blue-eyed actor, 34, had such a rockin’, well-sculpted bod? Jude reveals just enough to prove he’s got the right stuff while on vacation at the beach on Britain’s Isles of Scilly.

Best Soccer: David Beckham

The English soccer legend and admitted metrosexual, 32, proves that he’s the rare guy who can actually pull off a teeny Speedo-style swimsuit (unless of course, those are his undies!) Question: Did wife Posh have the privilege of oiling him up so nicely?

Best Bachelor: Andy Baldwin

The star of the Bachelor’s tenth season is a ripped-and-ready megahunk – no wonder so many women made fools of themselves on national TV! The 30-year-old licensed doctor and US Navy lieutenant is clearly a catch – in or out of uniform!

Best Morning Show: Matt Lauer

Eat your heart out, Al Roker! The Today show chatter, 49, and his surprisingly ripped abs are the talk of the town in the Hamptons. Plus, Matt gets extra points for having his adorable daughter, Romy, 3, in tow.

For Our Fave Couples … These Heavenly Bodies Attract!

Best Back-On Duo: Tommy Lee & Pamela Anderson

Their romance is on-again, then off-again, then – what do you know! – back on! Although it’s tough to keep track of the couple’s status, the buff tattooed rocker, 44, and his blonde bombshell baby moma, 39, always look awesome when they strip down to hit the beach together, as they did recently in Maui it’s tradition – they even wore bathing suits to their 1995 wedding!

Best: Side-By-Side Sexy: Rande Gerber & Cindy Crawford

He’s a former model. And she’s, well, a former supermodel! But this hot couple looks like they could still rock the runway. The pair shows off their fit bods in the Bahamas.

Best Reality TV: Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt

Somebody’s proud of her new bod! And why not? The Hills beauty, 20, paid good money for it! Along with her equally fit manage/beau, Spencer Pratt, the recently augmented looker hit the beach in Malibu.

Best MTV-Ready: Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minnillo

He’s an MTV-fave heartthrob; she’s a gorgeous former VJ. Together, the brand-new live-in couple sun, sip and show off their fantastic swimsuit shapes while boating in Cincinnati.

Best Old Married Couple: Harry Hamlin & Lisa Rinna

After more than 10 years of marriage and two children – and it’s rumored, a few cosmetic procedures a piece – Harry, 55, and Lisa, 43, are still one of the hottest couples on the beach in Malibu! We should all be sol lucky!

Finally Star reveals the Worst Beach Bods of 2007: Everyone out of the water! Scary sea creatures have washed up on shore!

Worst Saggy: Uma Thurman

Talk about letting it all hang out, well, down. We know the mom of two, 37, can afford a bikini top that offers a lot more support – and a lot less droop!

Worst Burnout: Courtney Love

Let this be a lesson: Years of not caring for your body make you look scary in a bikini! Also, if you get gastric-band surgery – as Love, 42, reportedly did – splurge for the additional procedure of tighten saggy skin!

Worst Secret Sagginess: Kate Hudson

Kate, 28, looks so perfect when she’s wearing clothing! But the actress and single mom’s plunging blue bikini revealed a surprisingly saggy tummy during a Hawaiian vacation.

Worst Man-Boob: John Travolta

Where have you gone, Tony Manero? The one-time Saturday Night Fever heartthrob, now 53, looks like he ate him! Even worse than that flabby tummy? Unsightly man boobs that look like they could use a bikini top!

Worst Bikini: Hulk Hogan

The former hard-bodied wrestling stud turned Hogan Knows Best patriarch, 53, has gone wrong in so many ways – not the least of which is squeezing himself into a neon-green slingshot suit that makes it touch to avoid noticing Hulk’s uh, hogans.

Rating: 4

Unlike other girls who wear this get up, Rihanna's the only one who can make it presentable. But just lose the earrings and maybe the shoes.

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Von Tease Never Dug By Guest Critic Gaye Critic

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