Saving the world from Atrocious Fashion, One Celebrity at a Time

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MJ Blings It On

Posted by Mean Critic
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The verdict is out on whether or not Britney Spears made her comeback at the MTV Video Music Awards, but she certainly radiated in diamond jewelry, including diamond stud earrings, a diamond cuff and 18-karat white gold and diamond rings by Hellmuth.

And she wasn't the only one.

Fine diamond jewelry made a strong showing at the MTV VMAs, especially in statement earrings, stacked bangle bracelets and right-hand rings.

Donning all three trends were singer Mary J. Blige, in 18-karat gold and diamond earrings and bangles by Ofira, and an 18-karat gold right-hand ring with white and brown diamonds by Lorraine Schwartz; singer Rihanna, in diamond studs, stacked diamond bracelets and a diamond right-hand ring; actress Jennifer Garner, in diamond earrings, a diamond bracelet and a diamond right-hand ring by Cartier; and socialite Paris Hilton, in diamond earrings, diamond cuff bracelets and a diamond right-hand ring. 

Beyoncé Knowles supported two of the trends with stacked diamond "Caviar" bangles and diamond "Monkey" collection earrings and bracelets by Lorraine Schwartz. Singer Ashanti, also in Lorraine Schwartz, wore platinum and diamond Caviar hoop earrings, a platinum and diamond bracelet, platinum and diamond bangles and a diamond right-hand ring.

Other celebrities draped in bling were Ashlee Simpson, Audrina Patridge, Eve, Jennifer Hudson, Lauren Conrad, Ludacris, Megan Fox, Nicole Scherzinger and Whitney Port.

Even MTV's "Moon Man" award was done up in diamonds. Jacob and Co. crafted a special version of the statue in 14-karat yellow gold and white and black diamonds totaling 13.75 carats, valued at $200,000.

Rating: 2

The first things that came to mind when I saw MJ's dark brown column dress was safe, boring and old. We've all seen this style over the years and they could have at least updated the look.  It's just too bare and too unanimated. 

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Something Fishy With Dawson

Posted by Mean Critic
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Rosario Dawson once blasted an ignorant movie fan at a recent screening of her harrowing  rape film after he suggested her character was "really rough" on her attacker. 

The star's character in Descent is brutally assaulted and then seeks revenge on her attacker - hiring a friend to rape him - and she was left furious when one fan sided with the film's rapist.

Dawson tells Movies.com, "The whole rape thing was just making me really, really angry. At the first screening we had a Q & A, and a man said, 'It looked like she was into it when she was raped and then she really is rough on him at the end.' I'm like, 'What movie were you watching?'"

Dawson reveals her co-star, Chad Faust, really struggled with the rape scenes: "Poor Chad Faust was devastated when we filmed those scenes. At one point he burst into tears, and I had to console him between takes."

Rating: 1

I can spot a rotten fish a mile away because it totally stinks and Rosario Dawson in her all black  dress with sequins, flower patch detail and a little mermaid tail is wearing one. Oh, when will you guys ever learn. No to mermaid style dresses ever! And her pointies are so uh, ughly.

If you want to be a fish, go swim with the sharks! And I don't mean Donald Trump.

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When Hayden Met Bill

Posted by Mean Critic
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HEROES star Hayden Panettiere mistook Hollywood actor Bill Murray for one of her dad's co-workers when they first met.

Panettiere admits she recognised the Groundhog Day star's face when they met 11 years ago, but wasn't sure how she knew Murray.

She recalls, "My parents always remind me when I was seven, I went up to Bill Murray and said, 'You look familiar. Do you work for my dad?'

"He smiled and said he would in the future. My mum had to take me aside later on and say, 'Honey, that was Bill Murray. He's an actor. He was in Groundhog Day.'

"Ugh. That was embarrassing."

Rating: 2

Sorry to burst your bubbly bubbles Hayden, but this is not something you can pull off because these were made for the tall and supermodelicious bods. She has a stocky frame and there are other styles that would look better on her, just not this Roberto Cavalli blue number.

Also, Hayden shouldn't wear her hair like this because it makes it appear that she has a huge head over a small body. And man, those are hideous gold wedges ever, yuck. 

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Shanna’s Old Seduction

Posted by Mean Critic
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Shanna Moakler

Shanna's first major motion picture was in 1997. She had the role of Jaime in Poison Ivy: The New Seduction.

Shanna says that the most romantic place she has ever been is St. Barts.

Shanna was Playboy magazine's Playmate of the Month in December of 2001.

Shanna is of Portuguese and Irish descent. 

Shanna is advertising for the alcoholic beverage Schmirnoff Ice, she was promoting the drink while floating down the Hudson River, October 11, 2006.

Shanna made a cameo appearance in the Adam Sandler hit movie The Wedding Singer, she plays a flight attendant.

Shanna admits that near the end of her marriage, that things got so strained, that she threw a carton of eggs at Travis's manager's car when he came to pick him up from their house one evening.

Rating: 2

Did Shana get her schedules right? I mean this was the Video Music Awards right? This is definitely not a night of bingo with grandma Betty and her gang! What are you wearing woman?

And what's with the Zsa Zsa Gabor hairstyle? 

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It’s Tabula Rasa For Alicia

Posted by Mean Critic
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The tragic death of a close friend forced soul singer Alicia Keys to stop acting like a performance diva. The singer admits she started taking her family and friends for granted as her famous life and studio and touring work took over - and then a tragedy made her rethink. 

Keys tells Rolling Stone magazine, "Maybe God knew I needed an extreme situation to help me understand what's real. Everytime I'd wake up, I'd get dressed and put on my little facade, like, 'Everything's great. I've got these shows going on, I just finished this film.' (There were) all these f**king interview answers to the point where I'd give interview answers to my family."

Rating: 2

Who dressed Alicia up, Dita Von Teese? Because she surely forgot the fish net stockings, thigh boots, black opera length gloves, handcuffs, red nails and whip. When you have all that, let me know so you can spank me. 

Or I can spank you with your hideous black sandals. 

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Nicole Walks Like An Egyptian

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R&B star Ne-Yo is urging Britney Spears to get in touch with him - so she can record the two songs he's been holding especially for her.

After confessing he and the Toxic singer have fallen out over tracks he wrote for Spears' comeback album and then allowed Pussycat Dolls star Nicole Scherzinger to record, the So Sick hit maker reveals the two songs the pop superstar really liked are still hers if she wants them.

Ne-Yo claims he wrote six to eight tracks for Spears but offered two of them to Scherzinger when she asked the songwriter for tunes for her debut solo album.

He says, "There were two songs that Britney really, really liked and I told them that I would set those two songs aside and nobody would hear them until Britney Spears' voice was on them. This was a few months ago and I haven't heard anything from them since."

Rating: 1

Nicole failed to charm us with her Egyptian inspired gold and black number with a ridiculous train probably made to sweep the floor she walks on.

Great, we had Beyonce dressed as a Goddess and now we have Nicole as Cleopatra. The Video Music Awards is not costume party, didn't you get the memo?

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Megan Wasn’t So Foxy

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Hollywood beauty Megan Fox is so intimidating to the opposite sex, men are too scared to approach her.

The actress is engaged to former Beverly Hills 90210 Brian Austin Green, so she isn't looking for romance - but she can't understand why she terrifies men.

Fox says, "I don't get approached, I get drive-bys! People will drive past my car and scream at me: 'I'll buy you an airplane if you give me your phone number!' Things like that happen, but nobody will come up and ask me for my number."

Rating: 2

The 2007 Video Music Awards was a total bore. After watching Britney Spears, I couldn't find any reason to watch another 10 minutes. It was painful as the outfits worn by celebrities. Did they not care at all?  MTV should have just scrapped the red carpet when celebs don't show up dressed to the nines. What's the point asking them what they are wearing? Just rubbing it in?

Megan can pose all she wants but that won't do anything to her boring coral number. A bore and a half.

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Heiress Tigress Paris

Posted by Mean Critic
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Paris Hilton

On July 19, 2007, Paris attempted to demonstrate her environmental consciousness by telling Us Weekly magazine that she had ordered a "Hummer Hybrid." However, a Hummer spokesperson told the magazine that, "Such a car doesn't exist."

In Paris’ biography, author Jerry Oppenheimer says that her parents Rick and Kathy Hilton are proud of her graphic sex video, 1 Night In Paris, because it made her the star she is today.

Paris has claimed that she read the Bible frequently while she was in jail, yet when Larry King asked her what her favorite Bible verse was, she couldn't think of anything on the spot. Additionally, Paris told Larry that she has never taken drugs in her life–a statement that prompted an anonymous cousin of Paris's to call in and report that she has seen Paris "stoned on many occasions."

When Paris returned home from jail in June 2007, she had a reported 698 messages on her BlackBerry, which contained a mixture of positive and negative words from various people. Paris has said that these messages helped her figure out who she wants to keep close to her, and who she wants to cut out of her life.

Paris's 45-day sentence was reduced to 23 days due to good behavior. Her sentence was reduced before she even went to jail.

In June 2007, Warner Brothers execs revealed they had dropped Paris from their label.

In April 2007, Paris offended fans in Basel, after she confused the Swiss city with Zurich. Paris was in town to promote her new line of watches. As well as forgetting where she was, she also admitted she snubs her own line of watches in favor of watches by Rolex and Frank Muller.

Rating: 2

Paris channels her inner Ivana Trump in her short ugly matronic 'do. I mean come on woman, bring back the extensions! Please don't give us a sneak preview of how you will look like in 20 years! 

Animal prints are getting so tired like almost every celebrity has one in her closet, so there's really no need to get excited. I guess what's off-key is the silver pumps she wore to go with the D&G corset dress. That's Paris for you.

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Beyonce and Solange: Are They Wearing Dereon? :)

Posted by Mean Critic
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Solange Knowles

Her style has been showcased in magazines such as Teen People, Vogue, and Seventeen.

Solange is in the April 2007 ad of Got Milk? with her sister Beyonce and mother Tina.

She launched a sister line to her mother and sister's line "House of Deréon" called "Deréon", for younger customers. She also models for the line.

Solange is the younger sister, by 5 years, of singer/actress Beyonce Knowles.

Solange's husband, Daniel Smith, is a football player at Texas Southern University.

She appeared in Destiny Child's "Soldier" music video just days before she had her son Daniel.

In the early 2000s, she was a backup dancer for Destiny's Child.

Beyonce

Says she becomes someone else when she's onstage, an alter ego she's even given a name to: Sasha.

Almost missed out on the part of Deena Jones in DREAMGIRLS (2006) because her voice is so much more powerful than her character's.

Is in line to earn more than any other black actress in Hollywood history for her role in DREAMGIRLS. She was paid $9.9 million. (December 5, 2006)

Plans to invest her money in art, after deciding flash cars devalue too quickly.

A federal judge has dismissed a copyright infringement lawsuit a Minneapolis singer-songwriter filed against Beyonce, ruling the songs were substantially dissimilar. Jennifer Armour claimed that Beyonce stole the lyrics from her song “Got a Little Bit of Love for You” for the hit “baby Boy.”

Ratings:

2 for Solange Knowles.

1 for Beyonce. 

Apparently, we have a lot of sister acts in Hollywood who share the same genes - bad taste, as in really really bad taste. Curable? Maybe, only if the party is willing to learn but if you  inherently have poor taste, sometimes it's hard to shake it off no matter how many stylists you have at the end of the day.

Solange is like a modern wonder woman just with a skirt and Beyonce (in Reem Acra) looks like she borrowed her goddess outfit from a Shakespeare school production or the curtains from the school auditorium. Either way it's really bad.

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