Saving the world from Atrocious Fashion, One Celebrity at a Time

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I Want the Number of Eva’s Hypnotist

Posted by Mean Critic
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Sexy Latina Eva Mendes used hypnotism to conquer her crippling fear of spiders. The actress admits that up to a year ago she couldn't bear to be in the same room as even the smallest arachnid - and had to insist on someone killing the creepy crawly.

She explains, "Ever since I was a little girl if I saw one, it would be a physical reaction and I'd freak out. If I saw one I'd have to have somebody kill it and then I couldn't take their word for it, I had to see the dead carcass. It was getting in the way and if I'd see one in the room at night… and someone couldn't get to it and it kind of got lost, I couldn't fall asleep in the room… It was psycho territory."

So Mendes visited a hypnotist, and was a little disappointed she didn't get a pocket watch out and dangle it before her eyes.

She adds, "You lie down, you relax and then she takes you through this kind of relaxation thing and then the cool thing is you think it's only three minutes and then the whole hour went by. I don't know what she did in there but it's helped. Now, I'll see one… and I'll just be like, 'Cool, what's up…?' and we're cool with each other."

The actress is so impressed she's keen to return to the hypnotist to see if she can iron out any other personal problems: "I wanna do it for everything; I'm like, 'Can she help me with road rage or midnight snacking or, like, foul language?"

Rating: 2

Eva scored a big one with this lovely dress with oversize bell sleeves and wild prints. Same love goes to the matching brown tote. But the shiny metallic sandals pretty much ruined the whole outfit. It's dark brown okay!

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What We Should Do To Naughty Heiresses

Posted by Mean Critic
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"I think all heiresses should be put in prison." John Cusack weighs in on the Paris Hilton jail controversy.

And I didn't think John Cusak was even funny. 

Rating: 2

Obviously there's just too much silver in this outfit. Silver dress, silver pumps, silver shoulder bag and silver necklace. It would have been nice on a Christmas tree but a disaster on Paris.

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Holly Has a High IQ

Posted by Mean Critic
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Holly Madison

I just feel kind of out of place on Easter. I feel kind of useless because everybody else has kids and I don`t and I`m just standing there with nothing to do.

In five years I'd still love to be here with Hef and my dogs and hopefully I'll have my degree by that time and still having fun.

People assume, because I'm Hef's girlfriend, that I'm a Bunny and I'm a Playmate and I'm a centerfold, but they're different things. If you're a Playmate or a centerfold, which is the same thing, you pose for the magazine, you are one particular month, and not every Playmate is a Bunny. A Bunny is a girl who used to work at the Playboy Club, she had the Bunny costume, and now that we don't have Playboy Clubs, it's just Playmates who work special promotions and are fitted for a Bunny costume.

I know Hef doesn't like it when I walk around naked in the house, 'cause he's a little more old-fashioned, sometimes, than people think. But you tend to forget you're naked when you've been shooting naked all day.

I don't get jealous of other girls, because I was… raised in a cloning lab to be the perfect woman for Hugh M. Hefner, so, other than the fact that my I.Q.'s probably a little higher than he would like, I have nothing to worry about.

Rating: 2

Sorry Holly but the electric blue number doesn't have the mega wattage to give us some shock. I wouldn't pay $20 for this kind of crap.

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If the Shoe Peets

Posted by Mean Critic
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Amanda Peet

He can't even be at a casual read and not be creating the whole thing in his mind. I remember feeling very awed about how much he still seems to be so in love with it, and so dedicated to making everything really real and really spontaneous. 

There's a very small group of elite actresses who are my age, who people want to work with. It's not easy to get a good job with good actors. 

Well, my mom is single and we've both been single at the same time over the last ten years, so I really related to the bond between my character and Diane's.

Whenever I was with Kevin Pollak, I had to leave the room. 

Rating: 2

It's one of those outfits that at first glance you say, hey that looks cute but two minutes later you know there is something wrong.

This outfit makes her look so stiff. It's just sloppy altogether. 

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Punky Green

Posted by Mean Critic
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Soleil Moon Frye has opened an earth friendly children's store in Los Angeles. The actress teamed up with pals Paige Tolmach and Beth Birkett to launch The Little Seed boutique in Larchmont Village on Monday.

And the 31-year-old - who is four months pregnant with her second child - is glad parents can finally buy organic toys and non-hazardous paints and crayons all under one roof.

She tells People.com, "It's an opportunity to make the planet a little greener. I haven't slept at all these last few months. It's probably a combination of pregnancy and opening this store. It's so exciting.

"I had such a hard time finding great organic and non-toxic items for my daughter. I wanted to create a place where parents can come and find products that are safe for their children, as well as good for the planet."

Rating: 2

I know she's on her second trimester and she is trying her best to look fab but this dress will only work with knee high boots if its shorter and have a tighter fit. There are a lot of cute empire clothes for pregnant women around, just look at Halle or Nicole, Soleil! 

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Marrying Anna

Posted by Mean Critic
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Former child actress Anna Chlumsky has become engaged to a U.S. Army Reserve soldier. The 26-year-old, best known for her role opposite Macaulay Culkin in 1991 movie My Girl, will walk down the aisle with Shaun So in March 2008. 

Chlumsky says, "Shaun's family is Chinese, and my family is Catholic. So we're going to do a fusion of the two cultural traditions."

The couple plan to honeymoon in Italy.

Rating: 1

If Anna is doing a comeback, wearing purple with matching purple boots is just not the right way to do it. Is she coming back to a circus or what? Glamor not tragedy.

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What Lucy Lives By

Posted by Mean Critic
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Lucy Liu

It's like kill or be killed, that's my thing basically.

Being Asian in this business is something you have to consider, because sometimes people aren't as open. They'll say, I can't see you with a Caucasian person. 

I think you just have to appreciate who you are and hopefully they can see what a superhero is about. 

I've never really thought about competing with cartoons. If it ever gets to that point, then just shoot me.

If you see the Sopranos, you're not going to be speaking in the Shakespearean English.

In Japan, there's a whole ceremony when you fight. She takes off her shoes. It's such a quiet moment, and then she bows.

Rating: 2

Lucy has a knack of choosing clothes that don't do anything for her. Sure, she has the x factor and that's a good thing but if you are a lousy dresser, it takes so much away from you. Take some pointers from good friend Demi.

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Britney: Not So Scary Anymore

Posted by Mean Critic
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Michael Vick and Miss Teen South Carolina made the list, but not Britney or Lindsay. See which of the biggest stories from 2007 made the leap to the most popular costumes this Halloween on The Rundown, a daily briefing on everything that matters outside the office.

The costume picks were carefully selected by The Rundown editorial team, who determined that Paris Hilton in pinstripes will be popular this year because "prison is sexy." Rehab on the other hand, as Lindsay Lohan herself pointed out, is sobering. Though O.J. Simpson returned to the headlines this year, he was deemed "too retro" by the editors, who instead chose an equally notorious celebrity murder suspect: Phil Spector, whose frightful wigs are a natural fit for the Halloween season.

The consensus choice for the year's most ubiquitous theme costume for men in their 20s and 30s? Bret and Jemaine from HBO's cult hit Flight of the Conchords. "Anyone with a little facial hair can pull out their favorite vintage shirt, strap on a guitar and belt out Business Time," said Chris Kaye, Editorial Director of The Rundown.

The full list:

Pop Culture
Drunk David Hasselhoff (fast food burger, no shirt required)
Senator Larry Craig (toilet paper and appliance box for bathroom stall)
Miss South Carolina (scrambled world map or square globe)
Paris Hilton (orange prison jumpsuit and Bible)
Anna Nicole Smith (zombie makeup and toe tag)
Phil Spector (gun and just about any wig you can find)

Any character from "Flight of the Conchords," Superbad, Heroes, Grey's Anatomy or Transformers
Geico Caveman (tennis sweater)
Billy Walsh from Entourage ("Suits Suck" t-shirt)
Stephen Colbert (Lazy man's best bet: suit, glasses, flag)
D*ck in a box from SNL (box)

Couples
The Office's Jim & Pam or Dwight & Angela
Knocked Up's Seth Rogen & pregnant Katherine Heigl
Alec Baldwin & daughter
Kanye West & 50 Cent
Eva Longoria & Tony Parker
David & Victoria Beckham
Tom Cruise & (shackled) Katie Holmes
Gene Simmons & Shannon Tweed
Marilyn Manson & Evan Rachel Wood
Amy Winehouse & equally hard-partying husband Blake Fielder-Civil

Sports
Michael Vick
Isiah Thomas & Anucha Browne-Sanders
NBA referee (money coming out of pockets)
Pacman Jones (stacks of singles to make it rain)

Rating: 2

The only thing missing is the apron and Britney got herself a French maid uniform. If I had my way, the first order of the day would be to get rid of those yucky boots and the hideous bag. But that's one eight of the problem, there's just so things one can do with Britney's wardrobe malfunctions.

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If I Were to Dress Up Britney in Animal Print

Posted by Mean Critic
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If I Were to Dress Up Britney 

Everybody and her dog has an animal print in her closet and it's time to use it while it is one of fall's trendy getups. But some people who go for prints don't know where to draw the line. When we mean animal print, it doesn't mean that you have wear it from head to toe. It's overkill. We will put the rrrrr in Brrrritney Spearrrrrs.

Rating: 5

The best animal print dress is the one that doesn't make you look like a ravenous animal. This elegant stretch leopard print with leather trim would be perfect for Britney. It will awake the sleeping tiger in her.

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If I Were to Dress Up Britney Spears to Court

Posted by Mean Critic
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If I Were to Dress Up Britney

We all remember Nicole Richie doing a Jackie O (well sort of) when she went to court. Hey, if you are just going to go down, might as well do it with style. Nothing wrong there, at least wearing a great wardrobe can be a good conversation piece. What do  you say Brit? 

Rating: 5

This might look a little too much but when Nicole went to court in that classy number, that's all I could remember about her that day. We got to show some love to the justice system. Britney would look respectable, decent and a winner in this cardigan and jersey dress.

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