Saving the world from Atrocious Fashion, One Celebrity at a Time

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Mariah Gets Spaced Out

Posted by Mean Critic
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"Forget the image, forget the ensemble, forget the rumours, forget the short skirts, the big hair, whatever! I owe this to the fans and I will never forget you so I want to accept this award on behalf of all of you. We've come a long way and I feel like I'm just getting started. Because as artist, and most importantly as a person, I am genuinely happy to finally be free to be who I am. Thank you." - Mariah sticks it to the critics at the 1999 Billboard Music Awards.

Rating: 2

Mariah wants to moon walk with those space boots. Huh? Love that hoodie though.

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Kate Does Filipino

Posted by Mean Critic
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Kate Hudson is the current image model for Kamiseta, a Filipino line of young women's clothing and apparel.

Rating: 4

It looks comfy and young. The thing is, it's not holding on to something. ;)

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Poster Child

Posted by Mean Critic
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Heather Graham Awards:

West Female Star of Tomorrow: 1999

VHI-Vogue: Best Female Celebrity Style, 1999

MTV Movie: Best Breakthrough Performance, Boogie Nights, 1998

Young Artist: Shout, 1991

Independent Spirit: Drugstore Cowboy, 1989

Young Artist: License to Drive, 1988

Rating: 1

Blink again and you'll agree with me that Heather's dress complements the background.

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Cute…Not!

Posted by Mean Critic
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"I'm cute - and God I hate that. Because that's not cool. I'm like your niece, and nobody wants to date their niece. It's the chubby cheeks. The whole reason people voted for me on American Idol is because I'm an everyday, normal girl."

Rating: 1

First of all, Kelly can't be categorized as cute. Second, the dress makes her hips look like she already gave birth. Third, she looks like a dried up mermaid.

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Undefeated

Posted by Mean Critic
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Jodie Foster is undefeated on Celebrity Jeopardy! (she defeated Nathan Lane and Harry Connick Jr. in February 2001).

Rating: 2

I adore Jodie. This woman has substance. The thing is, she isn't fussy about what she wears. Jodie tries to keep it safe with this black ensemble but I would still give it three yawns.

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The Skinny On Heidi

Posted by Mean Critic
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My career never suffered from my not being skinny. I never did catwalk work because I was always too big. I couldn't get the clothes over my hips. - Heidi Klum

Take it from Heidi, girls.

Rating: 1

The true blue bummer.

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Good Loser

Posted by Mean Critic
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"When I was a kid, my mother told me that if you could not be a good loser, then there's no way you could be a good winner." - Halle Berry

Rating: 1

Halle Berry's stylish strait jacket.

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Treadmill

Posted by Mean Critic
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"When you're an actress, you feel like you have to constantly be running, running on the treadmill, or you're going to miss an opportunity." -Tia Carrere

You have to constantly run on the treadmill to burn what you have right now.

Rating: 1

With what she's wearing, she's better heard than seen. Stitch would be so proud.

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Julia’s Style

Posted by Mean Critic
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Stiles is also an ex-vegan. When interviewed by Conan O'Brien, she said the word "orgasm" came to mind when she had her first cheeseburger after giving up veganism.

Two cheeseburgers with crispy bacon coming up.

Rating: 5

Beautiful. Dainty. Immaculate.

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America’s Other Sweetheart

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When the September 11th, 2001 attacks occurred, Bullock was staying at the Soho Grand hotel, twelve blocks from the World Trade Center. She saw the attacks from her hotel bedroom window and went to a nearby hospital to offer help. As all phone lines in New York City were down, she spent the rest of the day using her Palm Pilot to send e-mails on behalf of patients wanting to contact their families.

She is genuinely sweet.

Rating: 1

Meet Mrs. Snowman. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Oh, the weather outside is…

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Stunt Woman

Posted by Mean Critic
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During the 2006 Academy Awards ceremony, Garner stumbled on her flowing dress (designed by Michael Kors) as she came onto the stage to present the award for Sound Editing. She did not fall, but lost her balance, and jokingly commented, "I do my own stunts!"

She maintained her composure and because of that I became a fan.

Rating: 3

It's a pretty dress but somehow it made her curves non-existent.

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“Ugly Girl”

Posted by Mean Critic
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"If I showed you scripts from my first few movies, the descriptions of my characters all said 'the ugly girl'." - Winona Ryder

You did a great job in Beetlejuice as the quirky girl.

Rating: 3

The outfit is as quirky as she is.

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